Tag Archive | "Planning"

5 Rehearsal Dinner Planning & Etiquette Questions

Got rehearsal dinner dilemmas? We’ve here with the answers to the 5 most common questions! Who should host? The groom’s parents traditionally host this event.  However, due to budgets, geography, or strained relationships, it could be that the groom’s parents are unable to host. It is perfectly acceptable for another member of the groom’s family […]
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5 Tips for Wedding Planning for Short Engagements

All you brides out there with months and months to plan?  This one isn’t for you.  This post is for the brave brides who just got engaged and are planning a July wedding. The ones who when faced with the idea of waiting a year for their dream summer wedding, scoffed and said, “No,thankyouverymuch.”  When […]
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When a Friendship Ends During Wedding Planning

When a Friendship Ends During Wedding Planning


One of the most common questions we receive from brides is what to do about a friendship that has fallen apart with someone in the wedding party. It’s one of the many reasons we advise waiting until closer to the wedding during a long engagement to select your bridesmaids.  There is so much change in your twenties with your careers, relationships, even geography.  It’s natural that people grow apart, and that it’s painful when they do.  During your engagement, emotions can seem heightened (as when you experience any type of change) so the stress over that relationship ending is even sharper.

First, let’s start off with this situation from an etiquette perspective.  It’s considered rude to “un-invite” a member of the wedding party, just as it is for a member of the wedding party to withdraw.  Not only is it a faux pas, it’s also a relationship-ender.  Few friendships can recover from this sort of thing.  So, before you are ready to drop the guillotine, take time to assess  and weigh the gravity of the situation.  A difference of opinion or the inability for a bridesmaid to attend a bridal shower is probably an insufficient reason to take such a drastic step.  Work around the problem and hope that your relationship will repair itself in the process.

However, sometimes the issue is just too severe.  If the very presence of your friend sets your teeth on edge, if you are both unable to even enjoy each other’s company at all, then it might be time to commit an etiquette “sin” for the sake of all involved.

Whether you decide to move forward or cut ties, give yourself a break. The loss of a friendship, as much as we might hate to admit it, often feels akin to a break-up.  Take a couple days to grieve the end of a relationship that meant so much to you, and then move on.  You have a lot of positive to focus on right now!

Photography   |    J. Woodbery Photography

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5 Things I Learned About Myself While Wedding Planning

5 Things I Learned About Myself While Wedding Planning

Spring engagement session

From the moment you say “yes” to the most anticipated question of your life you begin a lifelong journey; a journey with your favorite person, learning about one another and yourselves. Before I was engaged I had convinced myself that I could plan a wedding, start to finish, easy as pie. This wasn’t entirely true. There are moments that make you question why your day job isn’t wedding planning extraordinaire but there are also moments you gain a deep appreciation for wedding planning professionals and all they do – it’s a fun job, but not an easy one!

Months and months removed from wedding planning there are a number of things that I appreciate about wedding planning and certain challenges that I faced that taught me a lot about who I am. Below are five things that I learned about myself in the wedding planning process:


1.) I can’t be Super Woman 24/7– and that’s ok!

I have been wired with an achiever mentality and a desire for efficiency, and even while planning a wedding this was very apparent. I love working hard and I love seeing the fruits of my labor. When productivity and efficiency feel like success it can be hard to allow yourself to pause for a minute (or a day). Accepting that I could slow down and take off the cape for a moment in the midst of wedding planning seemed to go against every fiber in my being, but trying to balance wedding preparations with work and my personal life wore me out. Thank goodness I had family and friends to remind me that it was okay to take a break and breathe. This has carried over into post-wedding planning life as well. I remind myself that breaks are fine (and totally necessary), and that I actually like who I am more when I am not running on empty all the time!


2.) I need my family and friends

Once the planning commenced and the countdown to our big day began I was faced with more decisions and checklists than I had ever experienced before. I tried everything — diligent note taking, Excel spreadsheets, online wedding planning tools and for a little while I was getting by. Doing it all on my own would have been nearly impossible and I can’t express enough how thankful I was to have my mom step in and help me address and mail over 300 invitations or my maid of honor who called around to local floral shops or my godmother who visited every secondhand store in a 40 mile radius to help find the perfect décor and vases. I could never have planned the wedding I had imagined without them. Up until the day after our wedding, our family and close friends were AMAZING support. I will never forget how much I appreciate the special people in my life! I need my family and friends — I depend on them a lot.


3.) I love details

Wedding planning gave me a whole new appreciation for details. Not only do I love details but I love planning them. I can’t deny it — some details demand a lot of attention. Whether it was details leading up to the big day or details on the big day. I loved being in charge of the small pictures that made up the big picture. Since planning a wedding I have become much more aware of the little details that make up a table setting, a favorite restaurant, or the details in a story and I especially appreciate the special attention to detail that couples add to their big day to make it unique.

rustic and whimsical wedding reception table setting


4.) I can be very decisive

Okay, let me clarify. Some days I can’t decide where to go for lunch. My husband has learned better than to ask me what movie at the theater I want to see because I want to see them all. But when it came down to the wire in wedding planning I surprised myself how decisive I could be and how confidently I stood behind my decisions. I knew what I wanted and I wasn’t afraid to speak up!


5.) I don’t take life too seriously

No matter how much time or energy you spend planning the perfect day something is bound to happen that you don’t expect. I soon realized that if I set high expectations on my wedding day being perfect in the sense that everything would go as planned, then I was setting myself up for disappointment. My husband and I sat down and discussed what was important to us on our big day and I focused on those details and let other things falls to the wayside. Most importantly I wanted to enjoy celebrating with friends and family. So when the rain came pouring down after the ceremony or the slideshow didn’t work, it didn’t ruin my day. In fact, those little unexpected hiccups made my day that much more special to me. Life is so much more enjoyable when you don’t take it too seriously.


No matter what you take away from your wedding planning experience remember that it’s a once in a lifetime memory so make it good and don’t sweat the small stuff! You will want to look back and remember the joy and happiness you felt preparing for your big day.


Photography | Jose Villa


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3 Ways to Keep Your Relationship On Track During Wedding Planning

3 Ways to Keep Your Relationship On Track During Wedding Planning


Engagements aren’t just a time to plan a wedding, they are also a phase to help you transition into a life together. Make sure that you aren’t neglecting each other or what you value most for the sake of organizing an event. Your wedding is going to be amazing. You’ve put in the time to ensure that your event will stay on budget and fit your style.  So, make sure to put romance and communication at the top of your to do list!

Prioritize time for each other.

Bust out your calendars and schedule date nights. These nights don’t have to be fancy or expensive. You can spend them at home watching movies or cooking dinner. But it’s important that the two of you continue to talk about your lives so that you don’t lose touch.

Attend important life events together. He’s finally done with grad school? Throw a party!  You’re receiving a promotion? Celebrate the occasion! Your wedding is not the only event to celebrate. When something outside the wedding sphere occurs during your engagement, make sure it gets the attention it deserves.

Continue to build the friendships around you. Often the community around you can play a crucial and positive role in your marriage. Make sure not to sacrifice buddy time.

Invest in premarital counseling or some other communication skill-builder.

Premarital counseling is no longer just a religious activity or requirement from a local pastor to officiate your ceremony. All couples can benefit from this process which is designed to help improve your communication skills, address potential pitfalls, and help support you through this stressful time. Of course, this aids you in navigating the day-to-day, but it also helps for those worse case scenarios, such as loss of a job or death of a loved one.  You will utilize what you learn in counseling for the rest of your lives.

Pick your battles wisely.

Your future mother-in-law is driving you cra-zazy. She won’t stop dropping hints about how she’d really love for her cousin to sing at the reception, and you aren’t interested. When you talk to your fiance, make sure that you make it about the wedding, and not about the relative. Insulting his family isn’t going to improve your relationship. It’s going to cause discord during a time when no one needs the extra drama. Make sure not to mention every single time you are annoyed by his family and friends, and when you do, express it in a way that doesn’t make him take sides.  If he is struggling to deal with your family, ask him to approach it in a similar way.

Photography by   |   Let’s Frolic Together

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3 Questions to Ask Each Other as You Start Your Wedding Planning

3 Questions to Ask Each Other as You Start Your Wedding Planning

couple with sandy feet during beach picnic

You will probably learn more about each other during the wedding planning process than at any other time in your relationship. Conflict can pop up over the silliest of things sometimes, so it is wise to be proactive. Handle communication smartly by starting your planning with three simple questions!

What’s the best way for me to disagree with you during wedding planning?

Don’t wait for the first argument to erupt before discussing communication styles. Planning something together is probably an entirely new experience for the two of you. Make sure that you aren’t offending him if you shrug off his suggestion for the boutonnieres or that you don’t get cranky when he tells you that he doesn’t like the wedding colors you adore.  The best way to avoid taking things too personally and to work through these differences in opinion is to own up to your communication styles and listen to your partner well.  Be honest about what you need in a conversation, and take note of what he needs. Maybe you prefer constructive criticism be worded in really positive ways, or perhaps he needs specific examples when you bring up something with him. And remember, these insights into how you two communicate are going to help you throughout your marriage, not just this phase.

How should we talk about our respective families’ contributions to planning?

Families, often unintentionally, can add a lot of stress to the wedding planning process. Whether it’s over money or guest lists or style or location, everyone has an opinion.  Before anything occurs (again, proactive is best to avoid blaming), talk to your future spouse about what they expect from their family, and how they will handle any surprises. The two of you need to be ambassadors for your relatives in order for the planning process to go as smoothly as possible.  Make sure you are communicating with your own family so that as the two of you discuss details there aren’t many surprises along the way.

When’s date night?

Planning a wedding takes awhile, and it can be all-encompassing, if you let it.  As the two of you are looking at your calendars and scheduling venue tours or dress fittings or cake tastings, remember to also schedule time for just the two of you to build your relationship without the stress of planning. Come to an agreement ahead of time that you will limit the amount of time you discuss wedding planning, or that you will avoid the topic altogether during your quality time.

Photo: Let’s Frolic Together

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